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Google's PrayerOur Google, which art in Wi-fi

Quick be thy search.

Thy results come, thy buffer be done,

On Bing as it is in Chrome.

Give us this day our daily updates

And forgive us our spelling

As we forgive those who butcher English grammar.

And lead us not into Apple,

But deliver us from Siri.

For thine is the Wi-fi, the processor, and the android forever.

Amen.

To a believer.Fancy me a fool?
Some sort of ass or mule?
You've got to be kidding,
when you say an invisible force will do its bidding.
In the winter you give children toys;
but your clergy bugger little boys.
But oh wait there's more,
funny ones, they bang their heads against the floor.
Blow up buildings for something they read in a book,
wonder how cunning was the writer,
bloody clever crook.

They're all the same,
innocent people they blame.
Aren't you a bit too old,
to believe the madness you are told?
This weird obsession,
of believing in one.
Look at the Greeks,
they had many- now that was fun.

Every time they open their mouth,
even more nonsense th

Table for who.A table in the corner
set for two
roses and candles
just for you.

Booked this for our
first date.
Now I can't wait.

Arranged to meet on
neutral ground some
where in the middle
of town.

We thought it was time
we met after chatting
on the net.
Talking for so long
it seemed we could do
no wrong.

A voice said hello
not soft more a bellow.
What happened to the woman
who never went on cam.
Now I know she was a man.

I was in a sweat
My heart racing
upstairs I heard pacing.
It was the morning
a beautiful day
the nightmare
I had washed away.

1Z Listu do Zjednoczonych Krain.
"[...] Pokonaliśmy Niszczyciela dzięki Poświęconej. Osiem krain kiedyś oddzielnych teraz się zjednoczyły. Woda, Morze, Światła, Mrok, Ogień, Wiatr, Czas no i epicentrum Wiara. Cykl ten zakończył się ze śmiercią Adhary Poświęconej i Sana z Ahmalem którzy byli Niszczycielami. To daje nam nowy cykl. Cykl Talizmanu Mocy. [...]"
Plac ćwiczebny Akademii Jeźdźców Smoków był prawie pusty. Na środku areny stała dziewczyna miała zamknięte oczy. Jej czarne włosy z grana

Pome to MortBlurble and blargle!
The fungle's like marble...
The flustig is blowing,
And such is the way,
Of stating your case,
When reason holds sway...
It's not that I'm jaznick,
Or terribly garblous...
Or wanting a chat,
or something quite farblous....
So whenever your fungle
is open to air,
and your blushniks are blushing...
Without any fears...
A short danggly missive,
portraying, your wishes...
will suffice to inform me,
(oh it's just so delicious!)
Of when you're on, netwise..
so both of us, (gleebly)
can verily cheerably,
greet appositely,
and nothing unsightly
shall mar the endeavour
when gaily, together,
We'll mingle our rhymes....

Big word, Little shinxI’m in the dark, just a little shinx.
These big dogs keep talking the big bark, but I’ll show em when the rain comes.
This little kitty can do more than shine in the night,
I’ll paint these gym walls with red your fright.
Gold fur and a heart of black, my trainer stabbed me in the back.
Broken and bloody I won’t give up till she’s crying over my dead body.
As you look into my eyes the last thing you’ll see is the most hurt part of me.
I’ll protect my innocence behind this fiery bolt,
Rock smash, rock tomb, I already know it’s my doom.
Take my swagger like a thief; I’ll double team th

The reason that students must learn history"Sir! Why should I learn history?"

I gave him a clout with my knuckles.

"Oh! Why are you hitting my head?"

Again, I gave him a clout with my knuckles.

"Shit! Why are you hitting my head? Why should I learn history?"

The student protests again. I put out this splendid answer.

"If you did not remember that you hit, When I hit you again, Could you avoid?"

Goodnight, CthulhuSing a song of madness,
An Old One never dies.
Four and twenty Shoggoths
Baked in a pie.

When the pie burst open,
The guests began to scream.
Wasn't that a wicked dish,
To complete Dagon's scheme?

Lord Cthulhu sleeps in R'leyh,
And sees us in our dreams;
Nyarlathotep babbles in the dark,
And feeds upon our screams.

The cliff-ghasts now are flying free,
Hunting for fresh meat;
And if they catch you dreaming,
Your doom will be complete.

OnCe UpOn A mOtHeRfUcKiN tImE OnCe UpOn A mOtHeRfUcKiN tImE tHeRe WaS a LiTtLe MoThErFuCkEr.

ThAt GrEw Up SuRrOuNdEd By OtHeR lItTlE mOtHeRfUcKeRs.

tHeSe OtHeR lItTlE mOtHeRfUcKeRs WeNt OuTsIdE tO pLaY a KiCkAsS mOtHeRfUcKiN gAmE.

tHe MoThErFuCkErS fOuNd A bUnCh Of SqUaRe ShApEd MoThErFuCkIn MiRaClEs.

ThAn EvErY mOtHeRfUcKeR dIeD bEcAuSe ThE mIrAcLeS wErE tOo MoThErFuCkIn AmAzInG.

tHe EnD.

hOnK :0)

Off TopicIt all started when I was 13 years,
7 months, 2 weeks,
4 days, 6 hours,
12 minutes & 14 seconds old.

Wait, now that I think about it,
now it would be 15 seconds.
16. 17. 18. 19.
20. 21. 22. 24.
Crap, forgot 23.

Shoot,
Where was I? I lost track...
I think I was at 20-something...
Wait, wait, wait, hang on.
What story was I telling again?

Panty and Stocking Oh pitiful shadow lost in the darkness,
Oh evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth,
May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy, delicate maidens,
Strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger,
Shattering your lowness and impurity and returning it from whe

Mad Libs: Love StoryMy smelly darling,
I love you more than pizza itself. Each minute away from you is a/an sun, each hour is a/an gross eternity. Without you, life is dull, boring, and fluffy. I feel like a baby without my statue, a toddler without my teddy dragon, a dog without its bees. I can't get you out of my gut. I can't stop thinking about the color of your sand, your hard laugh, the way you limp a joke. This morning, when the mail fire brought your special delivery babies, my finger skipped a beat, my throat was in my throat, and my clock trembled so much, I could hardly throw your white house. What you said set my

The Abstract Gentleman's BarThe Abstract Gentleman’s Bar

Haha, Gentleman! Please take a seat and I promise you won’t miss a beat
For we got a show for you this evening which revolves strictly around women!
Black, White, Asian and Exotic, I promise they’re all quite the treat
And if you don’t see that I’m being completely honest then why don’t you unzip your pants of denim!

We have Christians and Mormons but none of the Witnesses
We like to keep alive, right? After all you’re only here to hide from your wives or issues
Stuff like money, and children, who grow to be more of an issue in previous Christmases
Yet, here you are now,

Justice League of Ponies and Skylanders Short 1Justice League of Ponies and Skylanders Short 1

Rainbow Dash-The Flash
Spike-Robin
Captain Cold-Noodles

Rainbow Dash-See! Flying is easy! Any loser can fly
Spike-I don't know Rainbow Flash I don't have any wings
Rainbow Dash-Stinks to be you.
(Later Captain Noodles shows up)
Noodles-Now Captain Noodles will turn you into Frozen Chicken Wings
Rainbow Dash-No Dummy! You'll freeze the whole...........Cloud.(Grunting)
Spike-Wheee! Any loser can Ice Skate
(Robike skates in a circle and Captain Noodles falls out of the sky)
Noodles-Aaugh!
Rainbow Dash-(Shivering)

Noodles belongs to Skylanders
Rainbow Dash and Spike belongs to My Litt

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More from ~Konayashi

Frey

Start a little something.
Let it grow in your head,
Watch it expand.
Divide it, split it into more
Manageable
Bits.

Abandon it.
Lose interest, don't dwell.
Leave behind or be left.

Start a little something.
Give yourself purpose-
Almost
A reason.
Let it invade the nooks and crannies.
Absorb into its self all the spare moments.
Devote yourself to it.

Only to find
That nobody cares
Anymore.
And neither do you.

Go back through the records
Gather back the ideas,
Take them up again.
But eventually…

Let them fall into oblivion.

Start a little something.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
And wash it away.

Mystic Dream Galleries

All it really is
Lines- ink- thrown across the page
A print
But there is something about the shape
The curves, really,
Bending and twisting across the plane
It can be heard
The crying print
Colour missing from the frame
In the distance
Mountains, deserts, fields, oceans
Textures created on smooth grain
Girl in a daydream
A goddess in her time, but
Only a print

Javelin

Me, in my dorky sweats
Winter's chill long soaked through
I'm heading to the field
To fling iron at the grass.

Fifteen in the fourth hour
And a new challenge comes.
To me, it seems slightly
As though I may achieve.

I'm bringing my hand back.
Arm strong and straight, it rests.
Like gripping Winter's spear
I throw it like it a ball.

Some kind of runner's high
For those who do not run,
But who stand to throw shafts
Aiming for Winter's clouds.

Imbolc

This tablet is a hunter bird
Only softly rustling heard
Caressing silver, whispered word
The hunter waits for flight incurred

Tethered to the leather glove
Weightless, a creature from above
Eyes a-glowing, see signal of
The art of mystic master's love

Perched for many hour elapsed
Watching hands' slow raise to clasp
The pen, the wand, the bird's wings flap
Drawn into Inspiration's grasp

Clement Escape

Outside,
Wind is scratching at the walls,
Clouds have conquered over the sun,
And indignant rain slaps down resisting plants.

But inside,
Candles gather round,
Warming flames watch intently, contrasting only
The smiling glow of a screen.

And I am writing.

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Novocain

by ~Konayashi, Apr 2, 2006, 8:06:52 PM
Literature / Poetry / Humor / Free Verse

Oh, let me be, rather than go shopping after a dental appointment
Booed off the stage;
Or develop an incurable combination of Malaria and carpal tunnel;
Or compel my hand to burn all books; send me
Through the slaughter house a thousand times; or force me to hear
Ashcroft sing in an eternal loop;
Or take my things to be smashed, and
Bid me walk over a field of the shattered pieces.
Or rip from me my soul and will with cold iron hooks;
Things that, to hear them told, have made me tremble;
And I will do them without fear or doubt,
To go without shopping after a dental appointment.

Novocainby ~Konayashi

Literature / Poetry / Humor / Free Verse

Another peice done for English class. This one is really a spoof off of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, Act 4, Scene 1, in which Juliet uses hyperbole to express how much she dreads marrying Paris. She says:

"O, bid me leap, rather than marry Paris,
From off the battlements of yonder tower;
Or walk in thievish ways; or bid me lurk
Where serpents are; chain me with roaring bears;
Or shut me nightly in a charnel-house,
O'er-cover'd quite with dead men's rattling bones,
With reeky shanks and yellow chapless skulls;
Or bid me go into a new-made grave
And hide me with a dead man in his shroud;
Things that, to hear them told, have made me tremble;
And I will do it without fear or doubt,
To live an unstain'd wife to my sweet love."

<sarcasm>Geeze, what a complainer.</sarcasm>

So, enjoy my version. Oh, also - The reason I don't like going shopping after a dental appointment is because I'm always sleepy. I don't know what it is about the dentist (actually, the orthodontist), but I even fall asleep on the way TO the office. All I want to do afterwards is sleep, but my mom always drags me off to shop for something or other...
Anyway, the poem is called Novocain for irony. I fall nearly fall asleep in the chair even without novocain (though they haven't actually needed to use it ever...)

~jo-jo21 Apr 22, 2006

lol, it's good

~Konayashi Apr 22, 2006

Thank you n_n

~thrice-cursed Apr 6, 2006

Nice parody. The extent of dental dread become clear after the mention of Ashcroft.

~Konayashi Apr 6, 2006

~Sigh~ And Mrs. Long didn't even get the reference... What's this world coming to?

Not so much dental dread as after-dental dread.

~thrice-cursed Apr 6, 2006

Ugh, I hate the numb-lip feeling. There's worse, in terms of dental after-effects. Like the stuff they pack dry-sockets with. It's tingly, tastes really weird, and spreads all over your mouth when you drink something and then makes everything in your mouth feel numb. Damn wisdom teeth!

Going shopping after a dentist appointment is cruel. You feel so self conscious when your lip feels the size of your foot and you can't drink anything because of the fluoride. (Shopping obviously leads to coffee. Everything leads to coffee if you're me.)

~Konayashi Apr 6, 2006

Indeed (although I don't drink coffee). I wouldn't mind it quite as much if I didn't go that often, but now that I go to the orthodontist once a month, it really gets on my nerves >_<

~BulletProofPrincess Apr 2, 2006

It's cute.
I'm sure you will get an A plus.

~Konayashi Apr 2, 2006

Thank you ^_^ Glad you like it!

~BulletProofPrincess Apr 2, 2006

Your welcome.

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